“You need to talk to Sgt. Garner,” he said, “he was the detective who worked the case. I’ll give him a heads up and tell him you’re a friend of mine to clear the way.” I wrote the number down and waited 10 minutes to give Keith time to set things up. “Sgt Garner speaking,” said a voice on the phone. “Sgt Garner, this is Bob Eyestone, did Keith Horn tell you I was going to call?” I asked. “Yes he did, you’re interested in the Beckwith case. How can I help you?” “I was wondering if there was anything about the case that you found interesting or unusual. It might be related to another case I’m working on.” “I don’t remember the case that well, let me go through the file and refresh myself and I’ll call you back. What’s your number?” I gave him my number and hung up. An hour later he called back. “Mr. Eyestone, there isn’t much in the file but there was one note written by the coroner. The guy fell off the cliff into the ocean, but there was no salt water in his. Something about it has always been extremely unusual, ever since you hit puberty. You aren’t precisely compatible with other humans. That is to say, you can fuck them, but it tends to end badly for everyone involved. You don’t know whether or not it could kill someone, but it’s crossed your mind, and so you’ve forced yourself to hold back. After all, it’s a small price to pay to be stuck whacking it as long as everyone stays safe and secure.Except, this morning, you woke up to an unusual text message.Dear Recipient: This is a letter being sent from the Department of Dimensional Anomalies in regards to your reproductive anomaly. It has come to our attention that you received an incorrect application of your reproductive organs. Here at the DoDA, we strive for reality to be as sensible and pleasant as possible. As a result, we have moved you to the proper dimensional address for your unique predicament. You will find it very much the same as before, though importantly, you should not.
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